The Diary of Seto Kaiba
by rustyspoons
Summary: look into the mind of seto kaiba all his thoughts and the fact that everyone at school wants to know what he writes....
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own anything: as in: callipo icecreams, white out, diaries, anne frank, yu-gi-oh, NOTHING! YOU HEAR ME?**

Seto Kaiba's Diary.

Dear diary:

It sound a bit weird saying "dear diary" I mean, its not as if this diary is actually going to read itself is it? its not going to randomly open up on this page and say: oh hey look! He wrote this for me!

In fact I am considering rubbing out that "dear diary" part.

Mokuba just told me that the whole point of having a diary is that you don't rub anything out because you write down what you feel.

You know what? He could take over from Tea with all this feeling emotional stuff. I am a CEO and I have no time to waste.

In fact now I feel like throwing out this stupid diary.

I DID throw out the diary. But how am I writing in it I hear you ask "oh wise and wonderful diary" well its plainly because Mokuba saw me throw it away and did those annoying puppy eyes and the "but big brother" thing.

So I am left with this.

AHA! Another brilliant plan is unfolding! I could just NOT WRITE in it! Brilliant!

Once again my CEO mind has conjured up a brilliant plan. HA! Beat that Mokuba!

((Exactly 5 minutes later))

apparently Mokuba had thought about that one too. And now from 7-8 pm every night I must write in this confounded thing.

I shall not give this THING a name! I am not like Anne frank! Who named her diary…. Well I know she named it something. And I am not going to tell you what diary.

Now I feel even stupider than before. I am actually talking to my diary like it is an actual THING! Well it is a thing but not a person thing. Well actually-

Stuff that. I'm going to have a callipo ice cream.

((enter a noncommittal sigh right here))

not only has Mokuba eaten all the ice creams but he has also stolen all the white out.

I know! I'll go down to the store! And I'll get some white out!

I'll be back diary! (though I'm sure you wont know that I'm leaving. Oh heck with that I'll just take you anyway.)

………………………………………………………………………………………

dear diary,

there I go again with that dear diary thing! Well it could be worse.

Reminder to self: cut Mokuba's allowances in half. No wait, cancel them completely.

"big brother! You cant do that!" cried Mokuba.

((yes I am writing down what he says as it has relevance with what I am thinking.))

it seems that I had thought aloud though…. How else would he know that I am cutting his allowances?

Oh right, he's reading over my shoulder….

GO AWAY MOKUBA!

Actually he isn't reading over my shoulder, HANG ON! He's playing a game! WHAT? I am going to investigate.

And I'm back. My brother was apparently playing a game, in which he was Yugi and he was battling me…… what is up with that? I shall go find the creators and sue them! Sue them for using me without my permission!

Any way, as I was about to explain before this catastrophe aroused, I went down to the store as you know and well what can I say!

Mokuba called up all the convenience stores in domino and told them not to sell me anything! That little brat!

And you know what is worse!

I am actually enjoying writing in this diary.

I am sure I just have a head cold and I should be better in the morn.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

so how was it? should I continue? Or not? You decide, you're the reader and reviwer.

Cheers!

rustyspoons! 


	2. My diary! not yours!

Hola amigos! On with the fic!

DISCLAIMER: never can, never will, never have, never should own yugioh, if I somehow, under a great miracle, end up owning yugioh, you'll hear about it because I would've blown all my money on horse racing. Or something like that.

Dear dearest diary beginning with D that doesn't have a name, bother that I'll call you Fred.

I am currently in English. But like you need to know, writing a journal, what does she think we are? Honestly, who keeps a journal? Only wimps do. Hmm, nothing really to report, Joey just picked his nose and flicked it at me…

STUPID MUTT!

Tea is writing in her journal at a rate of knots, I'll try and see what she's writing….

_His hair is such a luscious brown, his eyes are so hard, yet underneath his stony expressions is a heart that just wants to be loved…… his name is Seto Kaiba, and he is the only one for me._

I think I am having a heart attack. No definitely another Seto Kaiba, I mean come on, it's a popular name right? Its like me! Popular!

"miss I need to go to the toilet!" says that puny wimp Yugi. He's probably going because he needs to redo his hair.

"hey watcha got there Kaiba?" asked the annoyingly ugly mutt who is currently reading over my shoulder.

"hey that looks like fun!" says the still annoying ugly mu-------------

"well hey now!" says da stunningly gorgeous and handsome Joey da dog!

Watcha call this thing Kaiba? Hehehe! Hey guys I got kaibas diary! And I am writing in it! Look!

Joey WAZ ERE!

Hey guys dis is fun!

Tea was writing in this.

Tristan is hott!

Yugi is ---------------------

Yugi is small and annoying and Tristan, you don't call yourself hot.

"Hey look guys! Kaiba named the diary!" says the runt. Yugi, hey wait a sec…

**STOP READING MY DIARY!**

"Hey was you talking to us Kaiba?" asked the still annoying blonde mutt.

"That's not very nice Kaiba. It's no wonder you don't have any friends. You see friends understand each other and they aren't mean. They listen and they care! True friends ar-"

Be quiet Tea. No one is listening to you. Look! I even stopped writing what you were saying mid sentence. Ha! That shut her up!

"well in that case-----------------"

If Seto Kaiba wont write what I say then I am just going to write it for him. Hear that Seto? Your diary will be full of friendship stories and notes of love-

"notes of love? Tea?" asked Joey who is NOT a mutt!

That's not what I meant and any way the point is, you cant rub this out OR pull out the pages because you cant do that to a diary.

"yeah? Well then I'll just have to take it off you."

No you cant Seto. Because one, I'm a girl and I will scream loudly in your ear, and well do you need another point?

_Friends are like four leafed clovers, hard to find, lucky to have. Friendship can guide you through even the darkest of al places and light your way…._

"uh, isn't that the same thing Tea?" asked Tristan.

DON'T INTERRUPT ME!

_Your foot shall not slide, and they will lift you up lest you dash your foot against a stone…._

"your foot shall not let slide? What does that mean?" Seto asked.

It means that he wont let you fall!

"he? Friendship is a guy now?" asked Yugi.

"is there somefing your not telling us tea?" asked Joey.

Joey, it is someTHING not someFING. And no there is nothing that I am meant to tell you but how great friendship is. Do you remember when we drew that friendship symbol on our hand?

"SOMEBODY TAKE THAT BOOK OFF HER!" screamed Seto clutching his ears.

Hey, why is he clutching his ears? I take offence in that Seto! Don't you love me?

Why is every-one quiet? I know! I'll prove your love to me! You must've written something about me! I'll just-------------

AGCWRHYQA EUAECHQY#Y $Y YCSAT$#SYD$$UXT$#C!#X$Z!#SX$YC#$XT!#YC#ZTS!CC!$#XZSD&C#$X$C!X

NO MORE WRITING IN MY DIARY!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: another chapter done! Please R&R&R!

((read, review, recommend))

Ciao!


	3. kaiba has DETENTION!

Hola! Another chap! I have nothing better to do with my life right about now, I mean I could be swimming in the pool or doing something useful, but hey! Its holidays! There's nothing better than sitting in front of a computer ……writing!

Disclaimer: do I really need to bother with these? I don't own ANYTHING!

P.s sorry for any spelling errors

I have the annoying friendship group to thank for this. We are now in detention but luckily they didn't take my beloved diary away. However I wish they would take Joey away. If he hadn't of grabbed my diary in the first place I wouldn't be in this mess I'm i-------------

Joey da dog is in da house! Man I LOVE riting in Kaibas diary! It has all his personal entries! And man---------

Hey Joey! Don't hog all the fun! Tristan is hot and all the ladies love him! They all w----

Get a life Tristan. They all want me, the irresistible pharaoh! Because I ruled Egypt an-------

I propose we elect a writer to write what's happening! And I elect myself! ------

How about no, Tea. This is MY diary! Stop writing in it! ----------

That's settled. I'll write in it. Said the stunningly gorgeous Tea.

"Hey! That's no fair!" said Seto Kaiba, the tall brunette.

"Hey look! She's doing descriptions!" said Joey the……. Blonde.

"Hey she's not writing how you say things Joey." Said Tristan with "the hair"

"Hey that's not right! As a writer you have to tell it as it is!" said Joey FINE! I'll write the dogg!

…….said Joey….the dogg…..

There! You happy guys? I'll write like you talk if you so insist.

"Okay now that that's settled, write this down" Seto hands me a note….. Fine I'll write it…

"No peeking!" Seto said "read each word separately."

_I Tea Gardner am now going to give the diary back to Seto Kaiba, because I love him._

"………..tea? It doesn't say that." The ravishingly gorgeous Seto Kaiba said.

"Tea? You okay?" said Joey da dogg.

Yes I am fine and- hey, look! Seto thinks I like him!

"Tea, that wasn't on the note that he gave you…." Said Yugi.

What do you guys mean? Of course it is! Here I'll………..okay so maybe it's not…… uh…….. Who's up for pizza?

"Tea….is there something your not telling us?"

Oh? Yes there is actually.

_Friendship is great! Friendship is grand; friendship is always there to lend a helping hand._

"AAHHH! NO! SOMEONE TAKE MY DIARY OFF HER!" said the brunette that is Seto Kaiba.

_Friends are like winter-_

"What there cold and harsh?" asked malik.

"Hey, when did you guys come in?" asked Yugi.

"Oh about, 5 seconds ago." Said Ryou the little guy who is a squeezable--------

Hey whets this? Some-ones diary, hey look! You're recording conversations! This is like Anne franks diary! I want to be the dictator! Please?----------------

For pities sake Ryou! You can't write fast enough! And besides you'll just go on about creampuffs!

"I beg your pardon but this is my diary!" said Seto Kaiba; wait….this is his diary?

----------------

There will be hot goss in here malik! Let's photocopy it!

------

Yeah! That's a good idea Ryou!

-----------------

HOW ABOUT NO? THIS IS MY DIARY NO-------

Jeez talk about annoying. It took me about 5 minutes to wrestle this thing off Kaiba, it's a good thing I'm a fast runner, and Kaiba can't run even if his life depended on it. He's all legs so he falls over faster than he loses to Yugi.

Were in the photo copying room, only Kaiba hasn't got that much juicy stuff in here so we're going to have to be a bit creative……..hehehehehe…

SETO KAIBAS ENTRY: 

Tea is hott.

----------------------

Kaiba doesn't spell like that Ryou! He's the guy who is really up tight! A little more creative as well!

---------------------------

Serenity is so sweet, like a creampuff…..all nice and crispy on the outside then lovely and creamy on the inside………….. In fact I wouldn't mind eating one now…..

----------------------------

That's perfect Ryou! Great now 100 copies!

Please review!


	4. the inconsiderance of humans

Another chapter! Here you go!

Disclaimer: if I owned yugioh it would be edible. Now shoo! I don't own mini cameras but I do have a lock combination……

I knew it was bad to start this diary. Dumb and dumber today put up photocopies of my entries all around the school. But they were stupid enough to write: photocopied by Ryou Bakura and Malik Ishtar, so they got detention. Here I'll paste in one of the photocopies.

**Seto Kaibas diary:**

**A brief look into the mind of the "great" CEO of Kaiba corp, Seto Kaiba:**

**Serenity is so sweet, like a creampuff…..all nice and crispy on the outside then lovely and creamy on the inside………….. In fact I wouldn't mind eating one now….. **

**And does this great CEO have an even softer side? **

_**Friendship is great! Friendship is grand; friendship is always there to lend a helping hand.**_

**Under all that harshness does he really just want to be loved?**

**Photocopied by Malik Ishtar and Ryou Bakura. **

But I guess that dumb and dumber were pretty smart, I mean now every-one knows that I have a diary and……..

OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!

Some-one trashed my locker! I guess it was all in search of this annoying diary! Good thing they didn't find it! I'm going to hold onto this thing for good! I wont let any one take it from my hands! No-one but I shall read or write in these pa------------------

Wow y'know diary your popular! More popular than me! I could make a fortune in showing you, $5 per page! I'll be a billionaire! I'd be rich! Joey da dogg would be top banana! I wo----------------

You are annoying. I'm going to find a lock for my diary to keep pesky little in grades out. And only me and my superior mind wi-------------------

Yak yak yak! I hadn't finished Kaiba! Jeez your rude! With all that money of yours you think you could afford some manners! Yeesh! I will be the greatest! Kapeesh!

Oh hey look! Here comes malik and ryou!

"you like what me and Ryou did?" asks the …uh…..tanned….uh…. blonde

"its Ryou and I not me and Ryou. And I find it most amusing look. I am laughing so hard. Ha. Ha. Ha." Replies Kaiba.

Heh! He has a funny laugh!

"hey Joey, what you got there?" asks Ryou, the little albino runt.

Its Kaibas diary! I got it and I'm gonna charge people to see it!

"really? That's a good idea! I'll be your manager!" says malik who is now my manager.

"wait, can I just see something?" asks Seto Kaiba.

------------

Stupid idiot. He gave me back my diary I mean how dumb can you get? Stupid mutt. Any way. I'm going to- no I cant put my diary in my locker, there are people here who can pick locks and…..whats this?

SOME-ONE PUT A MINI CAMERA ON MY LOCK SO THEY COULD KNOW THE COMBINATION!

And worse! I've already unlocked it! Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no!

Now some idiot knows my lock combination and I'll bet that they'll tell other people!

"hey guys! Guess what" its serenity, hmmm…. she seems to be holding a sheet of paper, those numbers they lo-

"I got Kaiba's lock combination! Oh hi Kaiba!"

Sorry I just dropped my diary in shock. How could such an innocent little girl suddenly turn into my worse nightmare? I thought she……….

Well she IS related to that mutt….but still….

"what do you mean by "but still" Kaiba?" asked Joey-

Hang on, you're not reading my diary are you?

"me? Never, why would I do such a thing?" says the blonde mutt.

You must be because I'm not talking out loud.

"hey Seto, why are you clapping?" asks serenity.

because your brother has finally learnt how to read, maybe he might start THINKING but we cant get our hopes up….

"hey your not offending my buddy Joey are you? Yeah that's what I thought Kaiba!" said Tristan.

You didn't even give me time to reply Tristan.

"yeah that's what I thought! I'm gonna go get some ice cream coz I'm so hot and I need to cool down." Said the so not hot Tristan.

"oh and Seto, did you really mean what you wrote about me, do you really think I'm a creampuff?" asks serenity wheeler….

I didn't write that! I don't even like creampuffs! Only that albino runt over there does! Look he's eating one now!

"now imw nwot!" said Ryou whose mouth is full of creampuffs.

"oh its just because I thought it was sweet….." serenity said, her brown eyes filling with- wait, why is she crying?

Hey, uh, why did she just run away?

"could you be any slower Kaiba?" asked malik shaking his head, wait, why is every-one shaking there head at me? What did I do now?

"its what you didn't do Kaiba. Honestly." Said Ryou.

Hey now just wait a minute. Of course I didn't call her a creampuff! That's the most stupidest thing imaginable! I'd call her a bunch of roses-

"what nice on the outside but prickly on the inside?" asked malik.

What's that meant to mean?

"its what's inside that counts. Calling her a creampuff was like calling her sweet on the inside, and light and fluffy on the out side!" said Yugi.

Okay now you're all confusing me. I'm going to go home now…….

**Voila! R&R please!**


	5. a little spanish man

Disclaimer: I do not own a pool or a little spanish guy. Or yugioh come to think of it…..

Yes that Spanish guy is sorta copied from fawlty towers, but I don't own that either!

Warning: Tea has to get the diary out from underneath kaibas butt….

Dear diary.

I still don't understand why serenity was upset about me not calling her a creampuff. I mean it's not really a compliment, It's kinda like saying: I feel like eating you. I mean that's not a compliment, I know I wouldn't like to be eaten…… but that is the past. Lets put it behind us.

I have bought a new pool; little did I know that a little Spanish guy would come with it. I mean the pool itself is grand! 100 metres by 50 metres, it's quite big and off to one side is a spa that has bubbles and a night glow. The main pool has lights that are all different colours….

….but the Spanish guy? He is short and speaks very little English which results in me doing lots of imitations to talk to him. And he goes: ah si master! When really he doesn't see.

He in fact reminds me of Manuel from fawlty towers. Yeah in fact……. I think I might call him that! No I guess that would just be plain mean….

I will now go out and admire the pool and all its beautifulness . I feel that the water reflects me in a way. Cool calm –

"and ripply? Smelly? Cold, wet?"" asked Mokuba who is currently reading over my shoulder.

Mokuba, don't you have anything better to do? Like, go and watch the grass grow?

"hey good idea big brother!" well that got rid of him. Now any way where was i?

"master! Here am i!" said Pablo the Spanish guy who is now one of my man servants.

That's great Pablo. Now go do something.

"ah si master!" said Pablo.

See? What did I tell you diary? He says si master and he's still standing there not doing anything!

Pablo. Feed the dogs.

"que?"

………………..perro! dogs! FEED! EAT!

"si, hungry si!"

I give in. I mean at least with my other servants they speak English. But this little guy just keeps looking at me… like a dog, expecting a pet…. Hey good idea!

I wonder what will happen if I pet him! Well there is only one way to find out!

I am scared, he started purring when I petted him. I wont be doing that again in a hurry.

Well diary, its night time now, I'm going to sleep with you under my bed just in case some-one decides to sneak in to steal my diary.

The next day at school and nothing eventful happened, we got our maths tests back and I passed with flying colours, but what else would you expect.

Tea is all huffy, don't tell me that she is upset about not being called a creampuff too! Or could she be jealous that the photocopies only mentioned Serenity and not her?

Oh whatever.

I love lunch time. It's a time when I can relax. The friendship group is currently feeding Joey worms to see how many he could eat. So immature. In fact, I think I'll tell them that.

YOUR IMMATURE!

Oh dear, I shouldn't of done that, I've drawn attention to myself and my diary, oh no! here they come!

"hah! He's still got his diary!" says the mutt, sorry diary I'm going to have to stop writing in you and sit on you so they can't get you!

-------

Hey this is Tea and every-one around me is laughing, I don't know why, I mean I just got the diary out from under his bum, big deal!

"tea felt Kaibas but!" said Duke.

NO I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT! I just got the diary! I didn't FEEL his butt! That's gross! I wouldn't! I got this diary for you guys!

"yeah sure Tea, sure!" said malik.

"oh hi guys, what are you all laughing about?" asked the annoying little brat serenity.

"Tea just got the diary out from under Kaibas butt!" said Tristan.

SHUT UP TRISTAN!

Wait, did serenity just send me a death glare? I think she did, oh no, DON'T TELL ME SHE LIKES SETO TOO!

-----

I Duke Devlin am now in charge of writing what's happening seeing as Tea just dropped this diary to go slap serenity, and I don't know what for, no wait hang on its written here!

HEY GUYS! TEA IS JEALOUS OF SERENITY!

Well that got every-ones attention, wow! That's really funny! Hey here comes Kaiba, I wonder what he wa--------

Some people have no consideration. I guess they don't know that diaries are privet. GET YOUR OWN DIARIES TO WRITE IN!

There that should do the trick. No, they are still laughing, why are they laughing?

AHHH! Why are you two holding on to me?

"who do you like better? Serenity or me?" asked Tea who currently has a death grip on my arm.

"tell us Kaiba" said serenity who currently is numbing my other arm so please don't mind me if my wriiiiting gggetttsss a lllittle wweird…..

There I got rid of them. Now to the question, uh…..

Hmmmm…. I like some-one else.

"what Kaiba, speak up!"

I LIKE SOME ONE ELSE!

The whole school ground is quiet….. I didn't shout THAT loud did I…..?

"who?"

"who Kaiba?"

"Kaiba LIKES some-one?"

"but who?"

Very bad move on my behalf, I'm going to have to run, oh no, they're closing in from all sides, oh I get it, they think it's in the diary.

Well there's only one way out of this. I'll call my helicopter. Hehehehehe!

Annoying, that's what people are. The cant mind there own business. It's a good thing I have this helicopter because my diary has now officially become the most wanted thing in domino high.

I don't think I'll be going back there for a while, I'll get home tutored! I have enough money! But I don't actually NEED to be tutored, I am so absolutely positively smart any------------------------------------

Well now would ya look at that! Kaiba tried to make a getaway but he dropped his diary out of the helicopters door at lift off, I mean how dumb can ya get?

It is I Joey wheeler and I shall be the first to know who Seto Kaiba is lusting after!

GUYS! HE HAS A SWIMMING POOL!

"look out Joey, run! The helicopter is landing, and some-ones getting out! Its not Kaiba…." Said Tristan.

"it looks like a little man…."

"a little Spanish man…."

"AH SI MASTER!" says the little guy, oh my god he's coming straight for me!

There the end to another chap! Please R&R!


	6. pink pajamas?

Without further ado, I give to you:

**Seto KAIBAS DIARY CHAPTER -----insert number-----**

Its all thanks to Pablo that I was able to get my diary back. So in return I gave him a scratch behind the ears. I think he's a golden retriever or something like that.

Here I'll try to write the conversation:

Me: oh no! my diary! Quick Pablo! Fetch!

And out of the door jumped Pablo and he bought my diary back! What a good doggy!

I don't know what he was doing in the helicopter in the first place, but it was very convenient of him.

There is only one problem with all of this…….

He bought it back in his mouth so he salivated on the diary, and every-one now thinks that I train little Spanish men to be dogs, BUT MY DIARY IS WET!

and, oh dear, they now know that I have swimming pool! Dammit!

I mean: oh fiddly pops.

Its night time now, I don't feel like reading I just want to keep writing in my diary! Its annoying addictive! I think I should do a section about my emotions, my fears, my dreams! That would be great!

……except the friendship group has a habit of reading my diary…..hmmmm…..

I don't kno—hey whats that? There rustling outside my window…..

Whispering….

OH MY DEAR GOD WHAT IN THE NAME OF BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON IS THAT?

Oh its just Joey…. Hey…wait… THEY KNOW WHERE I LIVE?

"Kaiba…Kaiba…Kaiba…" said Joey.

I'm not scared you dimwit. In fact I'll tell him that.

"nnoo…..co…..open….please?"

What the hell is he going on about? Oh what the heck I'll open the window.

"finally! We was freezing out there!" said Joey.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!

"no, its only 6:30" said Yugi.

"nice P.J's Kaiba." Said Tristan, my P.J….OH GOOD GOD NO!

"love hearts? Oh you DO have a heart Kaiba!" said Tea.

"wait isn't that a nightie?" asked Joey.

Yes it is, what's wrong with that?

"nighties are for girls." Said Yugi hiding a smile.

"I have one almost exactly like that! Only mine aren't pink, mine are blue." Said Tea.

"There's a growling noise, hey Joey is that your stomach?" asked Tristan.

Joey pats his stomach "nope."

"then what is it?" asked Tea looking scared.

The dogs shouldn't be in… hey some-ones opening the door!

"master? Here am i!"

"OH NO ITS THAT LITTLE SPANISH GUY!"

"RUN!"

Well that got rid of them…..

Good boy Pablo!

I mean sure it is quite freaky that this guy is a dog, but he's very good at it.

Hey- uh whats he doing? He's going around and around in circles….

He….he just curled up by my bed!

Well……..goodnight I suppose……

I am incredibly embarrassed; I woke to something that was licking my foot. And I'll give you one guess as to who it was. It's getting quite scary with this guy following me every-where. I mean sure he's a good boy, and is toilet trained, but I mean come ON! The guy thinks he's a dog! I just don't have the heart to tell him to get lost!

In fact, he probably is lost and just wants some-one to love him!

Hey, since when have I cared for him? He SHOULD get lost. I am going to tell him to get lost.

GET LOST PABLO! NO-ONE LOVES YOU!

"ah si master!"

this guy is going to be the death of me.

Oh damn! The time! The traffic! I'll never make it in time! This calls for my helicopter again, but im going to sneak out so Pablo doesn't see me, and then I'll be free!

I'll be back diary!

Ah this is the life isn't it? I can think out loud, because I can fly this thing all by myself!

Isn't it great?

"ah, si master!"

...45374573

You know the drill!


	7. kaiba loves ? pt 1

Okay, warning: this is really fluffy……… no fluffy is not the right word…… WHATEVER.

**457257248625986529862158639586923186523186258065238065238065238605**

**SETO KAIBAS DIARY.**

**Chapter title: Kaiba loves ? pt 1**

This whole Pablo thing is getting really old, I'm sorry to say but I am very tempted to throw him in a boarding kennel.

I used to watch Animal shows on television about people who dump there dogs, in the time that I watched that, I would have been around 4 or 5 I thought that it was the owners fault for even buying the animals in the first place.

Even now I feel slightly disgusted at it, but seeing as I never technically BOUGHT Pablo, I feel no guilt what so ever in giving him back. Well throwing him in a boarding kennel really, seeing as I'm really not sure whether he came with the swimming pool or whether he just caught a drive with the truck drivers and eded up here, well anyway I am getting rid of him.

That's how I wound up here, at the RSPCA.

((I'm not sure if it's the same all over the world, it stands for Royal Society for the prevention of cruelty to animals, that's where yo can adopt or discard you animals, they also pick up strays, any type of animal they take in))

Pablo is sitting on the floor, he looks like he's enjoying himself, the people at the desk are staring at me like I'm a dim light bulb, they couldn't possible be glaring at me, and the lady who was sitting next to me moved to the other side of the room.

"excuse me sir, may I ask as to what you are doing here? If you wish to adopt and animal please head straight through to the adoption desk, this is the discarding desk, and you seem to have no animal with you."

I am here to replenish my ownership over this dog, he is a golden retriever, though not a pure breed, he eats anything and he occasionally howls at night.

I pointed at Pablo for added effect, just in case she didn't quite grasp the fact that he was a dog. I thought Mokuba did a pretty good job in making this costume for Pablo, its not unlike the one that Joey wore, in fact it could quite possibly be the same one, I have too many….

The girl is looking at me strangely.

Look here you foolish girl, I am here to relinquish my pet to this place, I do not want it and its better than me just dropping him off on the side of the road.

"b- but sir, yo- there, there must be some kind of mistake! Y-yopu see we take animals, not …h..humans…." the girl said taking a frightened step backwards.

What a stupid girl. How could she think that this THING is a animal? They took Joey in without question last time!

Listen here, either you take the dog, or you take the dog. Got it?

The girl is giving me a scared look and she hooked a leash on Pablo's collar.

"I see, sir, well uhm, I just need you to fill out some forms….."

already done them! I hand my sheets over to the girl, don't know WHY she is looking so scared, I also found myself to be of scary nature, but I was only smiling at her.

I seem to think that I have a very nice smile indeed! Well anyway, I'm glad that's over, now before I get back to school I just need to make one more stop over, and that's at my dear friend Pegasus's place.

You see diary, I need to acquire some locks for you so that the friendship group of eternal light, or whatever it is they call themselves, cannot break into you, because I really want a privet section where I can display all my feelings, emotions, loves…

I'll have to put the diary away while I do that, all I need is the locks, I can install the rest, I don't want Pegasus to know about my diary as well……

Sorry diary I have to leave you for now…

…..

It was a good idea of mine to make diary secure, it took some time but finally I have a way of stopping the friendship group from reading my diary. I have applied a security setting and the friendship group will never be able to use their: "eternal friendship" powers to open this up. Let me explain,

- I have a thumb gel print that has been modelled to accept only my thumb print, which unlocks the first lock.

- I have a voice decoder which measures my voice frequency and that unlocks the second lock.

- and I have a DNA tester which requires a piece of my DNA to unlock the third. I can give pieces of hair, and when I fear the I might be going bald, I just change around the settings to something else.

- I also have an eye scanner which is fitted to my eye pattern and that unlocks the last lock.

I'd like to see eternal friendship shining get through that.

So now I can finally write about something that has been on my mind lately… there has been this particular girl that has just been stuck in the wall of my mind, stuck with superglue so I can't get her picture down.

Every morning when I wake up, I see her brown hair, glimmering in the light, her laughter makes me feel….. happy….. her eyes shimmer so brightly they are the colour of---

**523162386468652380653806523865865238065231806568023658023086523**

**am I evil or what? I am so sorry but I had to stop it there because quite frankly I couldn't make any jokes in this chapter, don't worry, the next chappie will come and we shall see who poor Kaiba likes! Tee hee!**

**Sorry this was really soppy, but I am in a soppy mood, I need to be random for the next chappie so I aint gonna write it straight away…**

**Well please R&R and the next chappie will come soon…**


	8. Kaiba loves pt 2

i had some ever so slight problems with updating, sorry...

disclaimer: so sue me already.

_Every morning when I wake up, I see her brown hair, glimmering in the light; her laughter makes me feel….. Happy….. Her eyes shimmer so brightly they are the colour of---_

The finest chocolates form Switzerland cannot compare, her eyes are the brownest brown….I feel like eating them….

I always believed that I could be just like William Shakespeare, the way his words just flow from his pen in a manner of which only I can achieve nowadays.

And now that the forever shining friendship cannot have access into my diary, I can let all that creative spirit out that spirit that has been contained for so long….here I have already got the perfect idea…

I shall write a poem about her shining brown eyes….

**Blue eyes and brown eyes:**

_**I love my blue eyes, I lover her brown eyes,**_

_**I love blue eyes, I love brown eyes,**_

_**To decide my love serenity,**_

_**I need a little….. **_

Well I am going to have to finish that poem some other time at the time being I cannot find a word that is both suitable and that rhymes with serenity.

But I shall never quit on my endeavour, all I need now is a plan, a plan that will make serenity mine…but how…

Maybe….I shall put my brilliant mind to the test, I shall record down the plan as soon as I have them and I shall write down possible problems.

Here they are brilliant plans….

1) Make brother duel me then of course he will lose and I will win Serenity.

Problems with plan: if Joey by some miracle (or by coaching from Yugi again) he manages to beat me I'm sure that I will have to give up something of mine…. Like my brother, or worse! My diary!

2) Confess my love to serenity, ask her out then give her a bunch of roses.

Problems with plan: confessing is not something I am good at, asking people out is not my style for you are vulnerable to be told "no" to and that is terrible for ones self esteem and roses. Well they might prick me with the thorns and get blood all over my white flowing coat!

3) Give her subtle hints, aka: flowers, box of chocolate, soap…. All anonymously

Problems: maybe not the soap, for some reason girls are touchy about that. And what if she believes that it is some-one else sending her all these gifts? What if she thinks it Tristan, OR DUKE? Well I can't have that.

4) Ignore her and act like you usually do.

Problems:

Brilliant it is decided, I will go with option 4.

Some one is at the door; I can hear one of my servants answer it. I feel like having no guests tonight, I would rather bask in the brilliance of my mind for coming up with such a brilliant plan.

"But I must see him" the guest says. That voice why does it sound…

"Yeah come on man, it aint that hard, were like bro's with the Kaiba man!" now that voice I definitely recognise.

Friendship power are here, with their eternal shining friendship plans and-

"Heya Kaiba! He, you got a funny servant; Tristan knocked him out with one punch! Honestly, who did they learn to fight against, you?"

HOW IN THE NAME OF SERENITY BROWN EYES GIRL DID THEY GET INTO MY ROOM SO QUICKLY?

"Hey Joey, he's still got that diary of his, what do you say that I hold him down and you take it?" Tristan asked.

'You can barely hold down your outrageous hair style so forgive me if I doubt the capability of you holding me down.' I say, I must say I am very good at these come backs.

They all blink at me.

'Of course I am so sorry, perhaps I should dumb it down a little for you all' Hehehehe

"Yes please do." Said Yugi now sitting down as if expecting a great story.

Now it's my turn to blink.

'well I am just saying that Tristan cant keep his own hair down so I don't think that he will, in any way, be able to hold me down.'

"You offending my friends hair style Kaiba?" Joey asked.

'Finally! A break thro----'

Kaiba thinks he's so tuff. But he aint that tuff. Tristan got him down with 1 hand! And now I am going to read the diary oh man this shuld be gud!

…….

…

…

Kaiba YOU BETTER NOT EAT MY SISTERS EYES BECAUSE YOU'LL BE THE ONE TO PAY $3 MIL NEXT TIME!

**80625397523974397-2349-74329-74239-73429-72349-742397-2397**

**There…please R&R…..it would be greatly appreciated…and remember…..cheese….**


	9. the little part at the back of the book

**THE LITTLE PART AT THE BACK OF THE DIARY.**

Now I am adding this new part to my diary, it's called "**the brilliant thoughts of me, Seto Kaiba."**

Where I can put all my thoughts, dreams, hopes and secrets, the most confidential part which no-one ((but me OBVIOUSLY)) can access. Not even my little brother. 

There has been something that has bothered me for quite some time now, the names of things and how they can confuse you. And the fact that nothing is as it seems. If one were to consider the fact that not everything were as it seems, they would notice some very peculiar things. Take for example the butterfly. This is not as it seems. I mean the name suggests that butter is flying when it is in fact a small insect that has wings. Not flying butter. The other day while in the park I was watching the scenery and I saw, or rather, heard a boy go to his friend: "hey look, a butterfly" the friend turns around and cops a face full of butter. I do not understand why the boy was laughing so hard and it opens up the fact that a butterfly cannot be called a butterfly.

My younger brother, Mokuba, today purchased a "lava lamp". I was absolutely disgusted by the falseness of me thinking that this was in fact a real "lava lamp" only to find that it was a glass cylinder with coloured water and globs of coloured wax. Again, I was wrongly informed. This "lava lamp" actually heats up the wax and makes it move. If it were real lava, it would take much more than a 24 watt globe to heat it up. And this "lava lamp" should be re-named as "coloured cheap wax in a cylinder, and you pay $85.00 for it and its not even real lava. Don't be fooled"

And also, why do we call oranges, well, oranges? And why don't we call lemons yellow, and limes greens? This might save us a lot, I mean then we could tell what sorts of fruits were which, we could call grapefruits: BIG YELLOWS.

And I just realised something: grapefruit. When you hear grapefruit you think: "yes a grape is a fruit." And then you realise: "the English language is too confusing. Why couldn't I be French? All I would have to learn would be how to conjugate a word, fitting formal patterns into the informal ones and figuring out the right possessive adjectives and rolling the "r" s and so forth, and also- actually you know what? I think I'll stick to English."

Okay so maybe the English language isn't that bogus, and maybe I pay too much attention to the errors and not realise the good things about it, such as:

….

….

….

….

….

Pavlova?

A/N: That was just a little cut out from the back of Seto's diary and it has absolutely nothing to do with the main plot.

The next chapter will be back to the normal broadcasting.

**Sorry for not updating in like…well…forever… ill try to update aqap next time. i actually forgot what was happening... wait, should i be telling you this?**


	10. H2O2

A/N: Sorry about the not reviewing and the shitty last chapter. I'm sorry and I don't have any excuses… well okay there is one but I doubt you want to hear it…

Man is der sum gud stuff in here! Da dogstar is on a rampage, Kaiba's secrets and I get to write in a calli… calg…caligri…a reali cool pen!

Ah man, my mum NEVER lets me use pens, this is so cool!

Hmm, wat was dat Tristan? Can't hold him down! Hey, who's these big guys?

HEY WH0---723457257698705872346989623347

I have been informed to write down what happens as Mr. Kaiba gets freed from a boy with odd shaped hair.

My name is George and I'm one of Mr. Kaiba's bodyguards. I apologise now Mr. Kaiba for not coming to your aid sooner.

This series of events is as follows from the time that my fellow bodyguards and I entered the room.

Mr. Kaiba was on the floor being contained by what was later identified as a boy named Tristan. This confidential diary was in the hands of a boy with absolutely horrible handwriting and horrific grammatical errors. (Later to be identified as Joey Wheeler)

After my comrades managed to pull the boy (identified as Tristan) off Mr. Kaiba, Mr. Kaiba told me to write down the events that have happened since his diary had been taken hostage by "that filthy mutt" to use Mr. Kaiba's words.

Shortly after wards Mr. Kaiba passed out. This was due to the low levels of H2O2 in his blood. Mr. Kaiba frequently does this. However he usually gets up about 10 seconds later.

….

….

I have been informed that the reason why Mr. Kaiba has not gotten up for the past 15 minutes is because he hit his head on the marble floor as he went down and subsequently passed out.

I knew it was a mistake to get marble floors. Mr. Kaiba should have listened to me on that one. Who would've thought that our true enemy would be the floor?

As I drive Mr. Kaiba to the hospital, I'm going to give this diary to this purple haired gentleman, as he does not look like a friend of Tristan or Joey.

Oh my how splendid Kaiba-boy! The one thing I came here to get expecting a fight and poof, one of your devilishly handsome man slaves passes it to me. My life cannot get any easier than that.

I shall hold this diary hostage and make Kaiba give me his fortune and empire!

Well, well Kaiba-boy, enjoy your time in hospital because when you come out you'll find that you'll have a nice message on your bedspread. Oh diary, what should I threaten to do first? Cut off your absolutely gorgeous hot pink ribbon page marker?

Or print out your true love's name in every tabloid and magazine?

Oh the possibilities Kaiba-boy, thanks for the opportunity!

**23868623864231806423864238602348064238064862308062318062380623862314**

Shorter, but I swear that I'll write another chapter next week! Sorry about the last chapter… and sorry about not updating in like...forever!

Also H2O2, it is meant to be that

Sorry again!


	11. pegasus's entry 1

**okay so maybe i didnt update that fast, i just signed in and noticed this was a document... i hadnt actually made it part of the story yet...**

**Oh and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide ((bleach)), well the 2's are meant to be small but that just aint happening….**

**Dammit! I have Ayame's voice in my head when I'm writing for Pegasus… this is too confusing…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jack Schitt, not the person either**

**3246234623263486214869689862319862316982386231862318691238619239863**

Kaiba boy you nasty little devil, you made the pink page marker impossible to cut! Not that I had intentions of sending that into you with a ransom note I just merely wanted to use it as my own page marker, I must say, its truly exquisite the making of this ribbon, iron threaded through so finely yet hard enough not to cut it!

But Kaiba boy one thing you have forgotten, if I want something so bad I will go to any length to get it!

Well almost any lengths there are a few things that I bluntly refuse to do namely the following;

jump off a cliff

murder ((loss of souls don't not count, honestly Kaiba's diary boy, or are you a girl? Who knows maybe he secretly lusts after this diary as opposed to a remotely normal human being))

stop drinking H2O2, I don't want low bleach levels, my hair will turn a disastrous black if I were to stop doing so.

Give up my fortune, that's your job Kaiba boy, not mine.

Feed the fishies. Both meanings.

I'm sure there is plenty more but my new assistant just came up to me with the brightest idea, I'll use a chainsaw to hack off the ribbon!

I must say this new Pablo is quite a good one, although the way he's always there is questionable but its cute how he curls up at my feet!

Oh Pablo?

"ah si master?"

be a good boy and go fetch croquet and ask him to bring me my red wine peroxide would you?

"ah si master!"

and he's still standing there, now isn't that just adorable? I found him at the pound, it was a steal! No really it was.

And he's still standing here, okay so maybe he's no longer adorable, in fact he's anything BUT.

Oh fine I'll just have to buzz croquet for myself, now I know I have it some where, are here it is.

My Slavery control 2000! It's a remote control that has several buttons, attached to each of my slaves if a buzzer and depending on what button I press something different happens to them! Now lets see…. Which one was it…

Why am I asking you diary boy? Its not like you'd know, oh I r3emember! The one with S/D on it!

((insert some singeing))

nope not that one!

**234832780142390723479042319074239074231790423970423790497023179023417**

**its short, but I figured short but sweet… okay so maybe it wasn't that sweet especially if you know what S/D stands for…**

**okay its supposed to be singeing, not singing...**


End file.
